MET OUR KIDS!!!

Where do I even begin? Chad and I were so freaked out we didn't even know what to say to each other on the way there, I don't think. When we got to the right town we were supposed to wait for Ronda, the caseworker, to call and let us know to go ahead and head to the house. So we decided to stop and get some flowers for the foster mom, to thank her for taking such good care of our babies. While we were waiting, we get a call from Ronda that it is okay to come, and that Jose wants to say hi. This raspy little voice gets on the phone, first with Chad and tells him that his is so excited to meet him, and can't wait for him to get there. Chad tells him he is excited too, and really nervous, but that Jose's call just made him feel so much better. Then I get on the phone, and he says "where are you? when are you coming to see me?" and I tell him that we are just a few minutes away, and he says "please hurry, I really want to see you and I can't wait anymore!" I wanted to just throw the flowers down and start running down the street!! This eased our anxiety quite a bit, needless to say, though we were still worried about how Alexis would greet us. We weren't sure what we would be walking into and if the foster parents would be welcoming or not either.

When we pulled up to the house Makayla and Jose both had our little family books in their hands and walked right up to us and immediately started asking us questions. They wanted to know if we were the mom and dad, and was that really our house, and which room was their room, and were those the brothers and sister. They liked the pictures of the dogs, and the doggie door:) Makayla loved her dress up clothes and put her sunglasses on right away and carried her purse the rest of the night. If the foster mom would have let her wear the purple, ruffled dress out to eat I think she would have. Personally, I would have let her, but I didn't want to step on any toes! Jose was super excited about his sports stuff- and right away took Chad off to the yard to play baseball. Things could not have gone any better with the little ones.

Alexis was a little tougher, as we all expected, but still it went much better than I had hoped for. When we got there she kind of stood back. I could tell she was interested, but scared. She smiled when we introduced ourselves. I just wanted to hug her and tell her I loved her and that everything would be okay. I didn't take it personal, but it did hurt a little to think she looks at us like we are doing something to intentionally hurt her. She seemed pleased to see her brother and sister interact with us the way that they did, and I think that was a good start. When we told them all we had presents this got her attention and she did move closer and sat behind us on the couch. We saved her present for last. I handed her the letters that me, Chad, and Avery wrote to her and told her she could read them when she felt like it. Then I handed her the ipod and her face visibly lit up. I told her we weren't sure what kind of music she like but that we had put Demi Lovato and Miley Cyrus on it, I mean what 12 year old girl doesn't like Miley Cyrus right? Ummmm, this one! But she found that amusing at least and I told her we could just take it off and get her whatever she wanted. Someday this can be our funny family story- crazy mom loaded her ipod with cheesy Hannah Montana when she really wants Lil Wayne....yah that's a later discussion...At this point Alexis says she is going to show her foster sister her ipod, but several minutes later she hasn't come back??

We didn't know that we would get to actually take the kids anywhere, but then Ronda (and yes that is how you spell her name) said we could take them to eat. The foster mom says she will go ask Alexis if she wants to go and that Alexis will probably say no, but she will ask anyway. I am starting to get the vibe that although they are very nice people, and even though they have been even encouraging the little kids that we are mom and dad...that they might not really be encouraging Alexis all that much to give us a chance? I dunno, but that is just my perception. That along with her later telling me that she has told Ronda and Alexis that she is more than welcome to stay there until she is 18. I am kind of concerned by this, because I hope she and Alexis understand that having a family means a commitment past the age of 18. Oops, there is another tangent, sorry. Anyways, Ronda tells her she would like me to go back and ask Alexis to go with us *GULP*. So I walk back to her room, I can hear my heart beating in my ears, and I am almost sure I might hyperventilate at this point, not to mention that the hallway is so dark I might lose my way or actually trip into her room-hmmm maybe making her laugh would be a good icebreaker?? Sorry again, off topic. So I ask her if she would like to go to McDonald's with us and she very politely says no thank you I have already eaten. But she is squirming and I can tell I have caught her off guard. I try to hold her gaze and sincerely tell her that I know she is scared, and that we are too and that we would like very much if she would come and that I promise it will just be very quick, we will bring her right back, and she can eat whatever she wants and as much as she wants. So she says okay! I say thank you so much, take your time and I will wait out there. I walk away thinking she will never come out, but she does and she comes right out and even helps load up the little ones. My heart is happy.

At McDonald's we play and Jose is full of energy. He minds very well and when we tell him he needs to eat his hamburger to fill up his muscles, he takes a huge bite and then shows us his guns. He is so proud and so are we. Chad and him do some races, and play with his little toys, we even lost the toys at one point and Chad had a lot of fun trying to dig them out from underneath the playground equipment with the broom. There was no way he was going to leave without his new son's toys. Very sweet. At one point Jose ran into a wall, and my mommy sense kicked into high gear. I had a hard time getting him to sit still long enough for me to make sure his head was okay. That was my first boo-boo kiss. I think he was a little surprised, and seemed very pleased...it actually slowed him down for a minute.

Makayla is a cuddle bug and loves all things girly, which I love. It is so exciting to have another little baby girl again. She had fun playing and climbing, and ate all of her food, which is amazing because she is pretty tiny. She has very fine, but curly hair, and these big eyes and pouty lips. I can tell she has a big personality in a little body. She latched onto me quick and was not shy. When I asked her if she went to school, she said yes, I asked her what she thought about maybe staying at home with me during the day and she got very excited at that idea and asked me if we could play Barbie's and dress up. And I told her I love to play Barbie's and can't wait to play with her. Chad connected with her by doing his usually goofy stuff, picking her up and tickling then swinging her around. She loved it and they were best friends by the end.

With Alexis, we talked about Halloween and I asked her what she wanted to be. She said they don't celebrate it:( I said what? She said they hand out candy and that's it. I said so then you aren't interested in picking out a costume then and going and getting candy? And she said no. I could tell she was interested though. So then I said what about if you get dressed up really scary and go around trying to scare people, or try to scare people when you hand out candy? So then she smiled. Although she is closed off at times, there were glimpses of her maybe being interested in what we have to offer. I think it will just take time. And I think it would take her understanding that adoption is for a lifetime and that just staying in fostercare doesn't mean a permanent family, and it would also mean her and her siblings being separated into 3 different places.

We leave here again at 2 today to go pick all of the kids up for the whole weekend and we are thrilled. We can't believe how things went last night. They went better than we were hoping and praying for. God is truly watching over us right now, as He has through this whole process. The plan is to have the little ones in our home permanently by the end of the month, and with Alexis it will just be a wait and see kind of thing. We just have to hope for the best at this point with her. We hope that bringing her home this weekend, she will she that we aren't so bad and that although change really sucks, that this life might be a really good life for her, and it is forever and means never having CPS involved in her life ever again. Maybe we can take them all to go pick out Halloween costumes and that will give them something to look forward to for when they come home. Maybe this one tiny little thing could be an incentive for Alexis to show her just some of the things we like to do as a family, because really that is just the tip of the iceberg. We also talked about getting her signed up for cheerleading this Spring.

To everyone that has posted messages and especially sent me personal and very heartfelt emails & texts, they mean the world and could not have come at a more important time. The Nye's, thank you again for babysitting and calling to check on us. Mom, for just everything!! The Anderson's for the yummy cookies yesterday as we were leaving. We appreciate all of your support and prayers, this has been quite possibly the biggest thing either one of us has experienced. When you have biological children, you have months to prepare and bond and when they get here you have years to shape and mold them and you have time to learn their personalities. In this situation, you don't really know what you are doing, or what you are getting yourself into. Your kids, the ones you have fought for, the ones you love and would die for, might hate you and might not want you and already have shaped thoughts and opinions and other people have raised them. Most of the time they have done so in a not so kind way. So we really, from the bottoms of our hearts thank you for your help and genuine love.

Oh, and we didn't take pictures because we didn't want to further freak out Alexis. We think the little ones would have been down for anything and you will probably see that this weekend, but we didn't want to push it. For those of you that won't see us. We will get plenty of pics this weekend and will post them later on.

To all of our friends and neighbors that will see us this weekend, be prepared. Please know we are all scared and anxious and more than a little nervous. We don't yet know how our kids will act around each other, us, or other people in public or at church. So this is our advance warning and possible apology, hahaha:) We hope to not cause to much of a raucous, but make no promises.....

The Watson Eight